Life is a nice place... but I wouldn't want to live there.

Well, there's lots of lovely stuff over at springtime_gen, so I'll just point you to the comm (*points*).

And let me show you the two most fun fics I've read in a while:

Felinated by anonymous [Harry/Snape, PG-13]
Summary: A potions accident leaves Snape as a cat until who-knows-when. Harry’s already got his hands full when a prankster starts sabotaging the rebuilding of Hogwarts. But what if it’s not just a prank?
Catfic is great fun most of the time, of course, but here, Snape is the most spectacularly nasty feline *ever*. Brilliant descriptions embedded in an exciting mystery plot - one great read! [locked at the comm - but you won't regret joining!]

There Are Days I Wish I Lived in a Romance Novel (But This Isn't One of Them) by anonymous [Millicent/Neville, PG-13]
Summary: In a cluttered workshop and amid the rambunctious denizens of his greenhouse, Neville Longbottom discovers that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Now he only has to convince Millicent Bulstrode...
Millicent is probably one of my top favourite characters, and this crazy 'not-a-love-story-dammit!' is among the two or three best I've ever read about her. Inventive as heck, touching without fluff, hilarious - read it! Then read the epilogue... *rotfls in retrospect*

This year's output... measly! 10 fics, not even all that long, and one as-yet unnamed for sekricy reasons... Well, it was a very busy year...

Favorite (and best, rolled into one) story this year: Time Parts the Hearts of Men... it took me a while to fall in love with it, but then Dumbledore always manages to creep up on me and make me fall in love. Grindelwald didn't even have to try. I still like the setup quite a lot.
Most underappreciated by the universe: Prometheus, Bound... granted, Ron/the Lestranges has been a long-time wish-fulfillment for me, and it was pretty obvious from how nobody wanted to pick that as a challenge in the half a dozen or so exchange requests that nobody was too hot on reading it either. But it was fun to write! *pokes out tongue at the world*
Most fun story: I don't think it was much fun to write, but I still get a little bit of yay out of writing Ron-Fenrir werewolf-sex/bestiality of sorts in World Like Fallen Apples...
Sexiest story: Nettle Stings... I've never quite figured out why Ron/Lucius brings out my inner sap, but it does, big time!
"Holy crap, that's wrong even for you": Poison Dart. I didn't even think I had an incest muse, but the Malfoys proved me wrong big time. I loved making the situation as ambiguous as I could. Lucius/Scorpius ftw! ;)
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: Little Broken Hearts - I was panicky about finding a Scorpius-voice, especially after reading so much brilliant AS/S fic, but it came to me almost naturally (and boy, did I catch myself at pouring personal character traits into the poor boy...)
Hardest story to write: Midnight Smoke... it only took three years to come to life. And *then* I discovered there was a fandom for it afterwards ;). But all festfic writing was like pulling teeth this year. No more!
Biggest disappointment: It's not that much of a disappointment, but I have the hardest time distinguishing between The Practice of Walking in Darkness and World Like Fallen Apples in my head... probably a surefire sign that I need to write different plots!
Biggest surprise: Teddy Lupin and the Resurrection Stone - no idea where *that* came from, and it didn't even naturally match the giftee's preferences... But it was a sign of how badly I wanted to write next gen fic, and how much Fenrir had taken over my mind earlier in the year...
Story I want remembered: I'm torn between Time Parts the Hearts of Men and Little Broken Hearts ... basically because they're both very different in pairings and plots from the other things I've written.

The first batch - am still catching up with lots of good stuff, so expect more to come.

Blue Oblivion by sansa1970 [Scorpius/Albus, R, longer one-shot]
Summary: Scorpius grieves for Albus. But is he truly gone?
This was the last fic that had me dissolve in miserable, unconsolable tears for several minutes – not something that happens often. It's a beautiful, doomed love story of sorts, and so painfully sad... Don't read it when you're in need of uplifting, but read it! I've not remotely read all the hp_darkfest offerings, and a lot of those I've read were superb, but this will be hard to top.

The Evil Devil Child and the Perfect Gift by who_la_hoop [Scorpius/Albus/Draco/Harry, NC-17, two parts]
Summary: When Scorpius Malfoy - Legilimens-extraordinaire, perfect son and all-round kinky little bastard - discovers that his father harbours a certain fantasy involving Harry Potter, a submissive attitude and a priceless antique dining table, he sets out to make his father's dreams come true. And if succeeding in his mission involves putting up with a naked, willing Albus Severus? Well, that's a price that Scorpius will just have to pay.
Yeah, everybody recced that ages ago, when it came out, but I'm not fast – even so, it's probably the smoking hottest fic I've read in, well, ever, I guess. Not just that, it's hysterically funny and brilliantly written, and you really, honestly need to read it for Draco's voice alone. Not to mention for the most amazing, twisted-yet-adorable Scorpius who's ever made it onto paper/into pixels. I'm not kidding – this is *shiny*!

A Monster Like Me by madeyemax [Remus/Fenrir, NC-17, one-shot]
Summary: Remus is nothing like Greyback. Remus isn't a monster.
This is one long, thorough, sinister mindfuck of a fic, with one of the most enigmatic depictions of Fenrir Greyback I've ever seen. And wonderful teenage Remus that never has a chance in hell of creating defences against that sort of opponent... Read the warnings first, though – this may not be for everybody...

All the Seasons of Madness by stonegrad [Abraxas, Lucius, Draco, Scorpius, R, one-shot]
Summary: Four seasons, four sons; four generations of pain.
Not to mention four times utter creepiness! stonegrad throws a very cold eye on what four generations of Malfoys are prepared to kill for, making for a seriously scary series of vignettes. Evil truly has many facets, and here's proof!

The Closing of the Year by anonymous [Albus Severus, Harry/Tom, PG, one-shot]
Summary: After his divorce, Harry Potter moves in with Tom Riddle. So does his ten-year-old son Albus Severus, who tries his utmost to get used to his new surroundings and to the strange, sinister man his dad has fallen in love with.
When I looked at the pairing and summary of this I almost skipped it, thinking 'that's never going to work'. But oh my dear gods, does it ever! A wonderful, vulnerable Albus, getting to know stern, uncompromising Tom Riddle, and yep, you should read the rest for yourselves! Shoo!

... 'cause omigods, this slayed me in the best possible way!

Unforgivable by lokifan [Ron/Draco, NC-17]
Summary: Draco has been accepted by everyone but Ron as they attempt to rebuild Hogwarts. He makes an agreement with the youngest Weasley male: Ron will have one night to punish him, and do whatever he likes. After that, he has to forgive him.

Well, the summary alone left me hot under the collar, and both setup and execution are brilliant. But most glorious of all is characterisation. It brings out Ron's nasty side (and that's *hard* to pull off while keeping him IC and free of bashing) but it's quintessentially Ron throughout. Amazingly hot, too, but the characters make it shine. If the warnings don't scare you off, omg, go and *read*!

First of all, for those of you suffering from acute H/D overload, two non-worldcup recs :)

Things that Go Bump in the Night by anonymous [Fenrir/Draco, NC-17]
Summary: Revenge is sweet.
Recommended if you like your fics dark and are in the mood for a short sharp shock. There are fics that are awfully exciting in their evilness, and this is definitely one of them. Brilliant characterisation, brilliant ending. *shudders*

Five Times Lucius Malfoy and Ron Weasley Clash by stonegrad [Ron/Lucius, NC-17]
Yes, it was written for me, but even at my most impartial it's *still* one of the most gorgeous Ron/Lucius stories I've read. The sort of fic that reminds me why I love this pairing to bits. Her Lucius... mmmh, to die for! Short and seductive.

Now, to H/D:

Lamp in the Cooling Room by anonymous [Harry/Draco, R]
Summary: Draco and Harry become snared in a trap, but they're not alone. Love guides our path for reasons we can't always understand.
Hands down the best worldcup fic so far in my humble opinion, and one I doubt can be topped. Real classics material, and I don't use that term lightly. Yes, it'll probably cut your heart out but wow, what a gorgeous read. I've only ever encountered a small handful of fics that pull such a punch and are so perfectly written at the same time.

Breaking all the Rules by anonymous [Harry/Draco, NC-17]
Summary: Malfoy is slowly wringing the last vestiges of pleasure from Harry's life with all his rules and committees and agendas and reports. Or is he?
Featuring the epic battle of Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy and Dolores Umbridge for the presidency of the Southwark Swingers Club. Does it need more to recommend it? And hands-down the best take on perfectly epilogue-compliant H/D *ever*! Well, last rec post I said the worldcup dungeonfic was superb, but the fest's crackfic is equally great ;). And this is hot as heck on top of it.

Perfect Day by anonymous [Harry/Draco, mild R at most]
Summary: One day can change everything.
This is Draco-fic at its best, perfectly in character, a great, atmospherical continuation of DH that's exceptionally true to canon, with an excellent plot and just an all-round wonderful read. I really loved here!

How Do You Mend a Broken Heart? by anonymous [Harry/Draco, R]
Summary: In order to keep custody of his children, Draco needs to find a spouse that will shore up the Malfoy family's tattered reputation. But what starts off as a means to an end gets more complicated when Draco's target reawakens feelings in him that he hasn't had in a long while, and Draco starts to feel alive for the first time since his wife's death.
Before coming across this fic, I wouldn't have been able to imagine Draco with a Weasley-sized family of daughters :). It works like clockwork, and is funny, smart and poking fun at too many fanfic convention to list. Writing is *shiny*, especially when it comes to dialogue. Great fun!

Ring A-Ring O'Roses by anonymous [Harry/Draco, NC-17]
Summary: Some demons are harder to banish than others.
Ah, this has a wonderfl in-character Draco and Harry, and wow, *plot*! Plot with plot twist inside plot twist, a really intrinsically thought-out story that feels canonical and rounded and yes... It's excellent.

Precious Things by anonymous [Harry/Draco, NC-17]
Summary: Scorpius Malfoy has been kidnapped and only one boy man hero can save the day.
This is hysterical and more than just borders on crack, but has one of the funniest, most *Malfoy* Scorpius ever, who's truly his father's son ;). Writing and puns just sparkle, and it's a great fic if you're looking for something slightly... *different* :D.

Two final Smutmas recs:

To Stopper Death by anonymous [Severus/Regulus, Severus/Lucius, Lucius/Narcissa, Severus/Lucius/Narcissa]
Summary: Post-DH, the past is still very much with Lucius.
Lucius, coming to terms with his past with Regulus and Snape and Narcissa, and the post-war presence in exile. This has a gorgeous, two-tier plotline and absolutely superb Lucius-characterisation! One of the absolute highlights in this year's exchanges for me. It's such a pleasure to see your favourite character done so much justic. Read, oh please!

Just Like a Gryffindor by anonymous [Harry/Draco, NC-17]
Summary: Draco hasn't gotten over the war yet, but the real problem is that everyone else has. So when an old curse comes back to haunt him, maybe he doesn't resent it quite as much as he should.
Another wonderful H/D with an intriguing plotline, excellent characterisation and a beautiful, un-sappy romance. Wah - who can keep up a "there's too much H/D"-whine when fics like this one keep popping up? Just great!

And, since Smutmas reveals are tomorrow, here's a handful list of guesses for personal reference (and for people to laugh and point because I'm awful at it...). I realised that I have a mental list of great Snarry fics and another of great Snarry writers, but am totally incapable of individual guesses. H/D is almost as bad... Only the first two I'd be willing to put a *very* small sum of money on ;). Still haven't read a handful, yet...

( Smutmas Guesses )

Coming Clean by anonymous [Teddy/James Jr., NC-17]
Summary: Teddy thinks it's time that James fesses up to his parents, but it might take a bit of persuasion on his part.
That's the hottest, most adorable, wonderfullest festfic I've read so far! The way it brings the kids to life with bits and traces from the parents we know, the scorching hotness of the sex? Priceless. Read!

A Cure for Frost by anonymous [Snape/Harry, R]
Summary: Harry breaks a mirror and subsequently finds himself in possession of a small snow cloud. It's Snape's responsibility to cure the boy, whether he wants it or not.
I usually don't go for fairy tale adaptations, but this is special - Harry being possessed by the most adorable demonic cloud in history, writing and cloudword games to die for - it's just crisp and bittersweet and beautiful.

You Didn't Think They Just Sold It To Him, Did You? by anonymous [Fred/George/Draco, NC-17]
Summary: From HBP Chapter 29: "...the moment he saw us he threw something into the air and it all went pitch-black -" "- Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder," said Ron bitterly. "Fred and George's. I'm going to be having a word with them about who they let buy their products."
Hoh, boy! Look at the warnings before you delve into this, because once you've started, it'll suck you right in and make you squirm. A lot. In all the good and bad ways :). I usually run a mile from twin!sex, but this... wow. Rattled me like heck, but went right into my 'guilty pleasures' folder ;).

Wandlore by anonymous [Harry/Draco, NC-17]
Summary: Harry has a bit of a wand problem. Draco may be able to help him with the solution.
Wow, that was one of the best-motivated and plotted BDSM scenarios ever! Perfectly integrated with DH wandlore, and so, so hot, with superb characterisations and descriptions. With portrait!Snape as extra bonus :).

Still not remotely read everything I want to, but had a leisurely period over Christmas reading at the expense of writing. Ah well, it was fun :).

Wheee, posting has started for merry_smutmas, harry_holidays, hp_holidaygen, smutty_claus and hd_holidays (and probably others, but these are the ones I'll be trying to follow - emphasis on trying).

Isn't it great! :)

This year, I'll be hampered by not being able to access LJ at work (even less so when I fly home in late December), but I'll struggletry to keep up and do recs.

Speaking of recs... Two utterly gorgeous fics so far:

Angels and Ministers of Grace by anonymous [Snape, Harry, gen, PG-13]
Snape survives the war, but ends up in hospital. Harry comes to visit. Sounds unexciting? Just go and read it. It's one of the most intense, heart-wrenching stories I've seen in ages, with Snape so canonical (and bitter) it hurts, and graced by the most *amazing* writing.

Let Go by anonymous [Harry/Draco, R]
Summary: There was a logical explanation for what happened between Harry and Malfoy: adolescent insanity. Not their own, though—their children's.
If post-DH fic on the whole turns out as gorgeous as this, I'll make my peace with the Epiloge o'Doom yet! Funny as all get out, hot as heck, and the characterisation (especially of the next generation) is just shiny. And no, I'm not usually a sucker for kids-of-our-heroes fic!

Um, yes... am I happy that LJ has been sold to a Russian company who's apparently thick with the infernal Mr Putin, especially right after a rigged election? You guess. As much as I'm happy to be rid of 6A, this isn't necessarily a positive development, especially not for fandom in terms of possibilities of being censored/dictated to. We're talking experts in this respect here...

*huggles her IJ closer*

Ok, so I've definitely given up any hope to post even the first part of what was supposed to be my final Harry/Lucius longfic before canon runs out. 'Cause really, I'd need a time turner for a *month* to do so. Ah well - it'll be my homage to poor, doomed Lucius post-canon, then! The plotbunny has been persistent for three years now, and will hold up until after teh end ;).

Talking Lucius, let's jump into the recs:

Unmarked by snorkackcatcher [Lucius/Marcus Flint, R]
Summary: Participation in the game of power has left Lucius Malfoy with many marks. Marcus Flint has none, and Lucius finds this appealing. But there are many complications in the course of their six year relationship ...
Not in a *long* time has a Lucius wowed me like this - running behind the scenes of canon from CoS to post-HBP, with superb characters, convincing attraction, a perfectly amazing story, perfect Malfoyesque resolution. Honestly, if *this* is how non-slashers write slash, they should be Imperio!-ed to do so more often! Definitely not recced because I betaed it (if such disclaimer be needed)! You should have seen me squee and hop around during first reading ;)

The Unusual, Exceptional, and Statistically Remarkable Hermione Granger, Age 21 by magnetic_pole [Hermione/Pansy, PG]
Summary: Hermione assesses her life on the morning of her twenty-first birthday
A very canonical Hermione musing on her 'coming out' and her relationship with Pansy full of a self-ironic humour and dry wit. Hermione's academic approach to her sexual identity, and her surprise at liking sex is very amusing to read, and still the 'deeper issues' of identity and acceptance are present without remotely resorting to preaching. Great fun, and a great read.

And went for a walk in the wide, wide world by Cliodna Cadogan (reversathon alias) [Percy/Harry, PG-13]
Summary: No one ever said it would be easy sharing an office with the Boy Who Lived'or sharing a life with his namesake.
I adored this fic, even though it's all eye-twinkly fluff and cuddly puppies (literally so!). But the mystery author really gets *into* Percy's stuffy hide, teasing out his loneliness and insecurities, and contrasts them with a Harry who has definitely come into his own, and who goes about sneakily seducing his colleague. I don't care if you dislike the pairing, or the fluff, but you've *got* to read this for Harry Potter, the puppy ;).

*snuggles liriaen for the pretty card and the calendar with attributes* ♥

And... holy hell, Sectus is in five days! *is terrified*

Here's the last batch of Ron-recs, not that I didn't enjoy many, many others on the comm. I'm still mindblown over having had the chance to read so much wonderful Ron-fic over the last month :). Once more, kudos galore to the triatha_ron Mods!

And now I'll return to my hidey-hole and try to cure my cold ;).

What We Share... by slinkiestumble [Team Gen, Prompt: Family; Ron, Weasleys, PG]
Summary: Ron has the dragon pox.
A look at her youngest son and his relationship with his siblings through Molly's eyes. A great concept, and also an extremely realistic look at the the efforts – and bonuses – of bringing up the Weasley children.

Steady (Part 1 and Part 2) by arsenicjade [Team: Slash, Prompt: Friendship; Ron/Victor/Draco, NC-17]
Summary: Ron's a Quidditch player. Viktor's the head of the Subcommittee for International Quidditch Standards. Draco is his filing clerk. You do the math.
This is anything but only a smutty threesome, but a very careful and amazing look at the very complex relationships that bind those three characters together. One of those *really* enjoyable, long and plotty slashfics with careful attention to characterisation.

A Routine Comfort by mamalaz [Team: Slash, Prompt: Loss, Ron/Draco, R to NC-17]
Summary: A lot of things changed in the war but, every week, Ron had this to look forward to
I love stories that manage to punch me in the stomach and have an emotional impact that leaves me cringing. If it thoroughly shakes me up, it's really good writing. This did, in a very quiet, painful way. Wow.

Eighteen Hours, Four Tasks, and A Kilt by abigail89 [Team Slash, Prompt: Time; Ron/Oliver, NC-17]
Summary: As Harry & Hermione wed, best man Ron Weasley has four important tasks to complete. However, a new relationship commands all his brain cells and energy. Oh dear.
This is just plain fun – a great, breathless, sexy and hilarious romp of a fic, with a wonderful Ron and almost slapstick comedy in writing.

How to Lose Your Mind in Ten Weeks by solstice_fics [Team: Het, Promp: Loss; Ron/Bellatrix, R]
Summary: Ron was captured and given to Bellatrix Lestrange to play with. Over the next ten weeks she set about reprogramming his mind and enjoying his body. Is he the one who's really losing it though?
I could say 'look at pairing and warnings before you read this', and you'd *still* get the wrong impression about why this almost squicked me :). Just take *nothing* for granted while reading this, and savour the brilliant ending :).