Real Life and Cat Life (heavily cut)

[kennahijja]

Dear Cat!

I know you're giddy, hungry and generally mobile in the mornings. I don’t mind, considering that afterwards you laze around pretty much until evening feeding time and even grouch if you have to go to the litterbox because it's OMG, so much *work*. So if I open the balcony door for you to stretch your paws before I have to go out for work, I hope you have fun.

I do *not*, however, mean for you to sneak back inside, and out of the flat into the stairwell when I leave the door open for just a minute. I even less appreciate it if you run up into the attic and hide under the couch furthest away in a corner, and there proceed to laugh your miserable fur off while I'm trying to coax you out. When I'm already late for work.

I had to blackmail you with food and milk, and while I'm sure you consider that as a pretty successful outcome, I'm *not* happy with you at all. Especially since I had to cycle through town in total disregard of such banalities like traffic regulations to catch the train. And I had to run out in sandals without inlay, meaning I've been walking on plastic all day long and it hasn't been fun.

In short, and even though you looked cute as a button snickering there underneath that couch, you suck!

No love,
Me

*glares at culprit via icon*


Right at the moment, I could practically be pregnant if that wouldn't be akin to a minor theological incident… I mean, my period is sometimes early, but *never* late. And right now, it's the second week past the date and I'm not even PMS-ing. Read a medium-affecting Snarry last night and did not sniffle, QED. Then again, I've been a bit stressed over the past weeks, and had to dose up on hayfever medication rather seriously (I mean, you practically have *everything* outside covered with this nasty yellow dust), so I'm suspecting that's the culprit. At least as far as I know, having fantasies about Lucius Malfoy, no matter how sizzling, will *not* get you into trouble ;). I'm not even complaining, really… but it made me go slightly bug-eyed...

And mmh, lazy_neutrino asked 'why Ron/Lucius', which is a dead perfect way to coax me into waffling... Shipping meta, sometime over the weekend! And hummelchen is coming over on Saturday, promising to give the hpde_smutathon fic a final read-through in exchange for Nachos and coffee and making out with the culprit above.