I think what I like about it is that it is so devoid of hope. I really like stories like that.
I posted a drabble recently which people found - fair enough! - somewhat obscure. I like the idea enough that I may try to amplify it. Remus, of course. This is it:
Understanding
They say your whole life flashes before you when you drown.
In the last moments of identity, he watches the door scrape open. There should be a stag standing there, or a dog, or a rat. Instead there’s a sallow head, fringed by greasy black hair.
In a heartbeat, Remus sees the whole escapade laid bare before him. No point being angry. They’ll kill him for this in the morning. Why waste time on anger?
And, as terror dawns on the pockmarked face, Remus finally understands what it means to be less than human.
Oh, Sirius, he thinks. And leaps.
--
It is a bit brief, but I was trying to reach that feeling of resignation - where understanding meets forgiveness and nothing matters any more, and you just give up. Like the moment where a drowning person opens their mouth and begins to breathe water. No hope at all. I think your story has some of that, and I think it's still very rare in fanfic. I love it.
no subject
I posted a drabble recently which people found - fair enough! - somewhat obscure. I like the idea enough that I may try to amplify it. Remus, of course. This is it:
Understanding
They say your whole life flashes before you when you drown.
In the last moments of identity, he watches the door scrape open. There should be a stag standing there, or a dog, or a rat. Instead there’s a sallow head, fringed by greasy black hair.
In a heartbeat, Remus sees the whole escapade laid bare before him. No point being angry. They’ll kill him for this in the morning. Why waste time on anger?
And, as terror dawns on the pockmarked face, Remus finally understands what it means to be less than human.
Oh, Sirius, he thinks. And leaps.
--
It is a bit brief, but I was trying to reach that feeling of resignation - where understanding meets forgiveness and nothing matters any more, and you just give up. Like the moment where a drowning person opens their mouth and begins to breathe water. No hope at all. I think your story has some of that, and I think it's still very rare in fanfic. I love it.