This story sucked me right in. Your writing style is wonderful, as usual, and Hélène is a fascinating character, to say the least. I love how rich her backstory is, and while, as captainjames said, I'd probably not like her as a person, she's wonderful to read about.
Intense and disturbing explanation for why Goyle is such a dullard in school. And a chilling counterpoint to the scene with the Muggle girl. Also liked the contrast between the Goyles and the Malfoys, but you write the Malfoys wonderfully, all round.
I honestly can't think of anything problematic with it. A few typos: the one that jumps out at me is that it should be Crabbes' rather than Crabbe's, in the context you're using. There was one other, but I don't remember what it was now, so it obviously wasn't anything major.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2005-11-28 04:22 am (UTC)Intense and disturbing explanation for why Goyle is such a dullard in school. And a chilling counterpoint to the scene with the Muggle girl. Also liked the contrast between the Goyles and the Malfoys, but you write the Malfoys wonderfully, all round.
I honestly can't think of anything problematic with it. A few typos: the one that jumps out at me is that it should be Crabbes' rather than Crabbe's, in the context you're using. There was one other, but I don't remember what it was now, so it obviously wasn't anything major.