Well, I do have IJ, but it's so long since I've used it that I've forgotten the password.
I would tend to move, unless my stop is very soon or there are a load of people getting on the bus, in which latter case I would feel self-conscious about appearing to a) selfishly grab a window seat from someone else and b) choose random stranger over current seatmate. But if it was first thing in the morning and I was sleepy I'd grab the seat if I had a ways to go, so I could snooze against the window.
Here's a question for you: you walk into a restaurant and all the tables are taken, but some are half-empty. How would you feel about asking someone if you could join them?
I was with a German (north somewhere) friend in the Highlands a few years ago when this happened, and she was adamant that she was going to ask someone and that there was nothing at all peculiar about doing so. I was mortified. Which was probably an extreme reaction on my part - after all, logically, what harm could it do to ask? But something in me screamed that it would be intrusive, out-of-place (evidently I was in one of my less-confident moods that day).
Which makes me wonder whether there is a cultural difference about space. We had a good laugh at the Doctor's surgery in Iona when we all came in and sat equally spaced in a row with one chair between each of us until there were so many people there that someone had to choose a seat adjacent to someone else. And we all even knew each other - not in best friends sort of a way, but certainly we knew each others' names and backgrounds.
I think there is a cultural presumption in the UK about not crowding. If someone was squashing me into my seat in a bus and a seat came free and they didn't move then I'd probably be a bit miffed. I'm not saying I wouldn't wonder if I smelt if they did move, but hey - who says people are logical?
Bottom line - if in doubt, move, unless you're chatting to them, or the bus is about to fill up anyhow, or if you're about to get off and free up the seat anyhow. And don't worry about the random stranger may think of you. It's more their problem than yours, but if it bugs you, then try smiling slightly as you move to indicate that it's not personal?
I'd prefer switching myself, because I can't read or write sitting next to someone, but always feel rude doing so. It looks like a clear 2/3 to 1/3 split result, which ain't helping the moral dilemma, although a surprising number of other Germans seem to have the same concerns (not all, though...).
The restaurant... it depends. If I was alone (or with someone who knew how uneasy I am intruding on people) and not either dead tired, starving or very, very eager to eat in this *particular* place, I'd either take a walk and try again later or look for someplace else to eat. Theoretically, I don't think it's impolite (if a bit of an intrusion), unless it's a sort of intimate table arrangement. That doesn't mean I'd voluntarily do it :).
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2009-02-09 07:12 pm (UTC)I would tend to move, unless my stop is very soon or there are a load of people getting on the bus, in which latter case I would feel self-conscious about appearing to a) selfishly grab a window seat from someone else and b) choose random stranger over current seatmate. But if it was first thing in the morning and I was sleepy I'd grab the seat if I had a ways to go, so I could snooze against the window.
Here's a question for you: you walk into a restaurant and all the tables are taken, but some are half-empty. How would you feel about asking someone if you could join them?
I was with a German (north somewhere) friend in the Highlands a few years ago when this happened, and she was adamant that she was going to ask someone and that there was nothing at all peculiar about doing so. I was mortified. Which was probably an extreme reaction on my part - after all, logically, what harm could it do to ask? But something in me screamed that it would be intrusive, out-of-place (evidently I was in one of my less-confident moods that day).
Which makes me wonder whether there is a cultural difference about space. We had a good laugh at the Doctor's surgery in Iona when we all came in and sat equally spaced in a row with one chair between each of us until there were so many people there that someone had to choose a seat adjacent to someone else. And we all even knew each other - not in best friends sort of a way, but certainly we knew each others' names and backgrounds.
I think there is a cultural presumption in the UK about not crowding. If someone was squashing me into my seat in a bus and a seat came free and they didn't move then I'd probably be a bit miffed. I'm not saying I wouldn't wonder if I smelt if they did move, but hey - who says people are logical?
Bottom line - if in doubt, move, unless you're chatting to them, or the bus is about to fill up anyhow, or if you're about to get off and free up the seat anyhow. And don't worry about the random stranger may think of you. It's more their problem than yours, but if it bugs you, then try smiling slightly as you move to indicate that it's not personal?
no subject
Date: 2009-02-10 12:02 am (UTC)The restaurant... it depends. If I was alone (or with someone who knew how uneasy I am intruding on people) and not either dead tired, starving or very, very eager to eat in this *particular* place, I'd either take a walk and try again later or look for someplace else to eat. Theoretically, I don't think it's impolite (if a bit of an intrusion), unless it's a sort of intimate table arrangement. That doesn't mean I'd voluntarily do it :).